Fresh (in vampire years) from killing it in vam-com What We Do In The Shadows, Deacon the Vampire has a bloody good World Buskers Festival show lined up to suck in a legion of Christchurch fans.

Tell us about your journey to becoming a vampire. No! That’s what my show is for. Come to the show, lazybones! But I will tell you how I innovated the marketing of cardboard boxes. It’s totally my invention: a full set of differing sized cardboard boxes all inside each other like a Russian doll. It was a genius innovation in the 1800s.

We’ve heard you’ve been searching for an old girlfriend – how’s that going? Urgh! Don’t ask! Those things one finds so endearing at first, like her drunken belligerence or her spontaneous hot-headedness, do slowly lose their rosy lustre over time.

What’s it like living with a garlic intolerance? Fine. “See garlic – avoid garlic” I always say.

What’s the most common misconception about vampires? That we leave blood all over our faces! So gross! Who does that? Not me. Well, just that one time during the film when we took the piss out of Nick and did it for the cameras.

Are you expecting a letter from the Queen on your 200th birthday? Does she do that? That could be cool. I wouldn’t be upset if she didn’t – I mean, I am a vampire.

What do you do to relax and unwind? I hang in my closet. Or in other people’s closets. There are some nice closets around Wellington.

What are the pros and cons of vampire life? Everything I thought would be awesome slowly turned to turgid bullshit. Even bullshit stuff just remained bullshit or got even worse. So it’s just constant bullshit stuff all the time, ugh.

Any victims in mind on your Christchurch visit? I’ve heard there is a Deacon Fan Club in Christchurch. This is mainly why I’m coming down. It’s easier to hunt fans than non-fans, although they’re not as much fun to hunt. Fans simply stand there looking excited. If they do run away, it’s just because they are merely pretending to run away. You know you will always catch a fan. It’s less exciting, a bit like if you were a rich hunter with a huge gun in a giraffe pen. Ugh.

What’s your favourite guilty pleasure? Hypnotising bus drivers to take me directly home, but I don’t feel guilty about it.

What are you listening to/binge-watching at the moment? I’m listening to David Bowie’s Blackstar. I’m watching a playlist of sunrises and sunsets that Stu sent me. I actually listen to Bowie AND watch sunsets – so languid and romantic.

Are there any other Buskers Festival acts you’re hoping to catch? No. I only like weird, awful, macabre stuff. I prefer to feel deeply unsafe at the theatre. But I’m sure there are plenty of fun and informative shows for all you wincing lightweights out there.

Bread & Circus – World Buskers Festival, January 23 – February 16, 2020
breadandcircus.co.nz