A friend in need is a friend indeed. But if it’s always them being needy, how’s that working for you?

We all have one, the friend we never hear from unless they need to vent for 30 minutes on the latest injustice in their life. If you’re lucky you might get a perfunctory ‘And how are you?’ towards the end but you know they are just being polite. In the language of Marie Kondo, does this friend spark joy for you? If not, maybe it’s time for a declutter, a checking in with yourself on who should be in and who should be out of your social circle for 2023. Time away from your routine is the ideal for such contemplation. It’s when we get away from the daily grind that we gain some perspective on the quality of our friendships. Where do you find joy? Who energises you? Who drains you? Who do you want to spend more time with? Just as you would with a wardrobe or garage clear-out, make a list. Write down some goals for the next two, five or 10 years. Who of your friends do you see helping you get there? Once you have a list of the people who spark joy in you and give you energy, find ways to make time in your life for them. Reach out and arrange a regular catch-up. For the ones on the ‘other’ list, be kind. They were once a good friend. If not, you would not have had to cut them from your list. So don’t just ghost them. Find a way to let them down gently. Finally, as you set off with your newly curated list of ‘real friends’, check in with yourself to make sure you’re not always the needy one. Or you might find they start questioning just how good you are for them.

FIND OUT MORE

Google ‘declutter your friends’ and you will find a wealth of information on why it’s a good idea and how to go about it. Here is a starter selection.

www.healthline.com/health/beware-the-one-sided-friendship

www.lifehack.org/635383/the-harsh-but-honest-truth-about-friendship-decluttering

www.anitavandyke.com/post/decluttering-your-friendships